"The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing." — Kin Hubbard
When you’re not upset and screaming
You’re an angel
I can watch you sleep for hours
Listen to your quick breaths
Notice a slight grin while you’re sleeping
People tell me it’s “wind”
I pretend it’s because you’re dreaming about me
When we brought you home from the hospital
I was exhausted, in pain, emotional… and all of a sudden, needed
Discovering that I was your life line, that you needed me EVERY second
Reality settled in, hormones were racing – your mommy was a mess
It seems so long ago already, but it’s only been a month
I remember those first few days and don’t miss them
I use the memory to remind myself that it DOES get easier
When you’re upset and shrieking in my ear
I try to console you the best way that I can
And I console myself too, repeating a mantra in my head:
This WILL pass, just hold on a little longer
Of all the challenges I’ve faced in my life, motherhood is now the toughest
But it’s also my favorite
We’re still getting to know each other, you and me
Every day I learn something new:
What your cry means
Your favorite position to be held in
Just how snug you love to be swaddled
It’s an adventure
I melt in the moments that you snuggle your head into my neck
I can feel your warm breath on my skin and know by its rhythm that you’re finally asleep
I love how you calm down from a fitful cry the moment I pick you up
I feel blessed when you gaze up at me as though I’m the moon, the sun, and the stars
I etch that expression into my mind because I know you won’t look at me that way forever
But I’ll look at you that way for the rest of my life
© Copyright – All rights reserved – Cristina Cole
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