Stay Sane Mommies

"The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing." — Kin Hubbard

Moms Being Honest

stressed mommy pic

Photo Credit: Rants from Mommyland

One of the best things that helps keep me sane is talking to my best friend Ursula when I’m having a tough day. I can tell her how I really feel without fear of being judged. I’ve even said: “I’m so tired! When I woke up this morning, I kinda wished my only role in life was Cristina with no responsibilities. Not Cristina the new mom or Cristina the wife. I just wanted to get up, get dressed and go have a day alone.”

She knows that nowhere in that statement do I wish that I didn’t have Jacob or not be married to Andrew. And I don’t have to explain that to her. I don’t feel the need to make sure she knows because I know she understands. It’s great to be able to be so honest with her. And have her be honest in return. There is no comparing between her son Christian and my son Jacob. We don’t gloat about how they’re progressing. We don’t gloat about our routines and how they work for us or what good eaters our sons are.

Sometimes I find that talking to moms who I don’t have a close relationship with makes me feel inadequate. They talk about how much they love every second of motherhood, and I start to feel guilty about all the moments I wished to just be alone for a while. Then there are other moms who are completely honest about their struggles and even laugh with me when I tell them my own blunders. It’s such a breath of fresh air.

I know I’m not alone in being an imperfect mother when I have talks with other moms who are honest. It feels really good to be able to share my feelings without feeling like a bad mother. Thank goodness for moms being honest!


6 comments on “Moms Being Honest

  1. Angela
    June 19, 2013

    I’m with you there Cris! Any time you feel the need to be honest you know how to reach me. I have 2 so I have a few honest stories to share!

  2. Nara Satti
    June 19, 2013

    I agree with you in everything! I’m exactly the same with my best friend.
    We just know and understand each other, no reason to explain, prove anything, convince, judge…
    And there is too many moms out there thinking that being a good mom is being perfect all the time.
    I’m more for being realistic.
    I love my baby more than anything in this world but I would lie if I say I don’t wake up almost every morning on those same thoughts… being a mom is hard! Thank goodness for real friends!

    • cristinacole23
      June 19, 2013

      I think you said it perfectly: “I’m more for being realistic.” More mamas like you would help make many more happy mamas without all the self doubt 🙂

  3. fakingpictureperfect
    June 19, 2013

    Amen! I have been criticized and misunderstood in my own family for this. I have two people in my family with fertility issues, and they seem to interpret every complaint of mine as being ungrateful for what I have. It’s been a huge trial in my life because they read my blog, and I am constantly thinking, “Will this offend them?” When I find a friend that I can be myself with, it IS absolutely a breath of fresh air. No judgment from this mama ever. 🙂 That’s why I love blogging. I’ve found lots of great moms that don’t judge, and don’t always sugar coat everything. It’s so wonderful.

    • cristinacole23
      June 19, 2013

      I’m sorry that you’re made to feel guilty about your feelings. That’s not fair. And I xan totally relate to your worries about offending certain people when writing a post. I usually have to remind myself that I write for me, and my sanity. Thanks for your honest comment 🙂

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This entry was posted on June 19, 2013 by in Mommy Tips and tagged , , , , , , .
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