Stay Sane Mommies

"The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing." — Kin Hubbard

Don’t Get Mad Get Even Nicer


dogs
The first time I learned about the idea of “killing with kindness” was when I read Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. For those of you who haven’t read the story it’s about a man who meets an angry, rude, disrespectful woman. He continues to be kind to her no matter how badly she treats him, and soon enough her anger melts away because no matter how hard she tries, nothing she does provokes him. And they lived happily ever after.
Have you ever tried doing this? It’s funny how well it actually works. I have had TONS of opportunities because I’m a customer service rep part-time. I am the one the angry customer unleashes on. The one who takes the punch, gets back up, finds her balance, and then braces herself for the next jab.
For a long time I would take things personally. I would want to yell back, cry, defend myself. But then I would only fuel their anger even more. And worse, risk losing my job. I hated feeling so defeated all the time. I needed to grow thicker skin.
Instead, I just learned how to change my perspective. I’ve learned a few things:

  • I am not the one they’re mad at
  • I am most likely the tenth person they’ve had to explain their issue to
  • They don’t feel like they can trust yet another sales rep to resolve their issue
  • They have had an awful experience and FINALLY can tell someone face to face how pissed they are about it
  • The louder they yell, the calmer I need to be
  • The angrier they are, the more pleasant I must be
  • And even though what happened isn’t my fault, I need to apologize like it is

In a nutshell, don’t get mad get even nicer. It sounds like I’m telling you to be a doormat when people are rude to you, but I’m not. Instead, be a marshmallow. Let the anger bounce off of you, but continue to be kind…sweet, that niceness is what will bounce back and slap them in the face, not your anger. And they won’t know what to do with it.
They’ll be so confused by your reaction of niceness that their rage literally melts away. Their behaviour goes from rude or obnoxious to quiet and reserved. How can they justify continuing to be angry and rude to someone who is so darn nice? That would put them in the wrong, and suddenly they’re the bad guy. And who wants to be the bad guy?
You don’t have to be in customer service to run into rude people either. They’re everywhere. On the highway, at the mall, in the parking lot, coffee shop. Whenever I run into someone who’s obviously angry, I remind myself that I have no idea what their life is like and what struggles they’re facing. Of course, that doesn’t give them a license to be rude, but they’re just easily triggered by obstacles throughout their day and the anger just spills out of them.
I know they saw my signal on to get into a parking spot but they took it anyway. They saw me walking right behind them with a toddler in my arms and rushed into the elevator before I could and didn’t hold the “door open” button. In both cases, I make sure to make eye contact with the individual, smile and say “Hi”. I don’t give them the reaction they expect. Perhaps it makes the path for the next person they run into that day a little less bumpy.

Advertisements

2 comments on “Don’t Get Mad Get Even Nicer

  1. Sonya Kassam
    June 19, 2014

    Some great advice here, I would apply this also to dealing with a teenager 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on April 6, 2014 by in Funny Stuff, Mommy Tips and tagged , , , , , , , .
Decoding Happyness

Because Happ'y'ness depends on 'Y'ou ! Let's decode the little things that bring happiness amidst this life full of care :)

An Honest Mom

From the hip on mindfulness, parenting, feminism and homesteading.

The Monster in Your Closet

. . . is quite friendly, actually!

Don't Wait To Advocate

Advocating for people with Cerebral Palsy and other disabilities

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

Never Trust a Jellyfish

Life, Laughs, Toddlers and Tea

Adult & Teen Fiction

Read on and I will show you another world within this one....

You've Been Hooked!

Observations from the trenches....

80,000 words

One word at a time

johnny be bald

or... Tales of a 30 year old Nothing.

Plenty the Magazine

Living. Learning. Laughing

bowlingwithed

thoughts from a bearded lawyer

My name is Lynzee.

Mother. Photographer. Taylor Swift enthusiast. "Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good." - TSwift

A Blumes With a View

Putting the "blah" in blog!!

Jackie

living an authentic life

Mixed spice

A Blogfull of Tales

toemail

Pictures of toes, pictures of feet, making the world a better place, one foot at a time.

%d bloggers like this: